Women Creating New Realities

Posts tagged ‘Vulnerabilities’

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda …

LS3D-WCS (2)

‘Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda’ … three of the saddest words uttered throughout the ages … 3 words that cause our greatest grief and anxiety … they are the socially unacceptable words of regret … the misgivings we have shoved down … the remorse we pretend doesn’t exist … we all have them … moments when we cautiously withdrew from someone or something because we were afraid of being rejected, of failing, looking foolish … they are the life defining moments we defensively, justifiably, self-righteously took a detour from and headed into a new direction … believing we are ‘now’ safe … yet as we journey on our new path we quietly carry our invisible baggage of shame, guilt and self-loathing, mumbling I ‘Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda’…

A recent survey by Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America found that roughly one-third (32%) of Americans regret major choices in their lives.

Happy Newsflash … it’s never late to dump our baggage … to embrace our innocence … our vulnerabilities … to acknowledge that we did our best with what we knew at the time … to exercise our courage …. to step up and smash our ‘Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda’… to either do the ‘ it’ … or … to forgive ourselves … for our past misguided decisions … at this juncture we can’t fool ourselves … we know what to do for ‘done’ to pop.

Judit e. Szabo

Poster: Karen Salmansohn

Emotional Blackmail …


Emotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They can be our parents or partners, bosses or coworkers, friends or lovers. And no matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to win the pay-off they want: our compliance.

~ Susan Forward

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